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Need advice on teen and her absentee father? – Christmas Gift Ideas For Women

Sometimes thinking of Christmas gift ideas for women can be difficult.

Check out this question and answers from one person facing this dilemma.

Question by Tammi H: Need advice on teen and her absentee father?
I have a 16 year old, who when she was 13 years of age visited her father who is lives in another state. She was taken to a females home for an overnight stay without my consent. She uses a rescue inhaler and her father did not take it that night, neither did he stay with her that night. He simply left her over this woman’s home, (thankfully her two other siblings were there as well). However, had she needed her asthma medicine she would have been in trouble. Anyway, I was upset and asked him to not do that again. He got really angry and we actually ended up in court over it. The judge agreed with me because she was a single mom as well. She informed my child’s father that he must notify me prior to taking her for an overnight stay. He became infuriated and (to make a long story short) told my child that he would no longer see her until she was 18! What kind of crap is that to tell a 13 year old. He has not sent her any Christmas gifts, birthday gifts or anything since this incident. 3 years!!!
So, recently he called and asked her to come visit him for the summer, she told him she did not want to visit. He kept asking her and continued to text her on her cell phone during school hours. She cried herself to sleep one night, and this is when I stepped in and decided to change her number. This way if she wanted to call him she could, but he could no longer call her to upset her. Was I wrong??

Best answer:

Answer by Herefoya
I dont think that you were wrong. When the time is right, i am sure she will want to call him herself. And he should net be calling her and making her upset. I think the best thing to do is forgive her father and start fresh.

Add your own answer in the comments!

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Christmas Gift Ideas for Women

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10 comments to Need advice on teen and her absentee father? – Christmas Gift Ideas For Women

  • Muggle_Prefect

    no, you did the right thing

  • brianrrific

    no you weren’t wrong.

  • Lady

    You did the right thing!

  • bopdaddy

    Sound like you did the right thing about the phone.
    He sounds like a selfish little kid so don’t expect any thing constructive from him.

  • His wif3y!

    Wow talk about your sticky situations!

    You were not wrong at all. He lost his daughter out of stupidity and she now despises him for that. End of story. He’s harrassing her and messing with her emotions. Who’s to say he wouldn’t walk out of her life again. Don’t feel bad

  • *OutaUrz*

    I don’t believe your were wrong in this. You have the right as the other parent to protect and guard your kids feelings. It is not bad that he wants to see his daughter, any man in their right mind would, BUT he has to know the damage he is doing on the back end that you are left cleaning up when he falls back off. Trust you gut and stick with your action, like you said, if she wants to talk to him, she knows how to find him, and you can let her make that call. STAY in the mix and police the situation until you feel she is strong enough mentally to handel it herself. Hope these words help –

    BC – Miami, Fl.

  • TENI

    No, you are not wrong, the father is playing guilt trip! You have every right to be concern on your daughter’s health. Asthma can be deadly, and you did the right thing!

    What you need to do know is be supportive to your daughter, and get some mother and daughter counsel ling together. It will help make your daughter stronger and not to be feel guilty. He also can come over and visit her daughter! Tell your daughter to do reverse psychology!

  • Guinevere

    No you did it the right way,
    first your husband should not have left her at someones house, anything could have happened to her. That was irresponsible.
    Why did he want her staying with him, if he wasnt looking after her, That was irresponsible
    Next, he should have checked she had her asthma pump. That was irresponsible.
    To telllhis child hes not going to see her till shes 18, is totally out of order.
    Let her choose now when and where she wants to see him, hes had his chance and blown it, Big time.

  • ssandydem

    absolutely not!!!! it is your job to protect this child. my ex did that to my daughter. she was still in diapers and he would take her for visitations on weekends he had guard meetings. he left her with his gf and when i got the baby back the next day, she would be in the same clothes and diaper even tho i gave several in the diaper bag. the food would be gone so hopefully she got fed. he was too stupid to even think to tell/ask me to let him take her the opposite weekend so he could have her. i took away all visitation. now that my daughter is 17 he calls her but she has come into some money and i told her he can’t have it. and that is all he wants. so we will see where it goes when she turns 25 and can legally have it. oh found out yesterday he said in november he sent a christmas gift… u guessed it its still not here. what a loser. so glad we are divorced. good luck and hang in there.

  • L_Boogy23

    NO you were not wrong. You protected your daughter the way a mother should even if it’s from her father. I do think he may have realized he made a mistake, but now the damage is done..now he has no one to blame but himself if she doesn’t want anything to do with him.

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